Are you trying very hard to get back with your ex girlfriend? Perhaps, you are at a loss on how to stop your break up and think the harder the more persistent you are, the higher your chances of success of getting your ex girlfriend back. So, you do things like calling her repeatedly, text messaging her until her cell phone is flooded, keep on saying you love her etc.
Unfortunately, while persistence will help you in other areas of your life, it won't necessary pay off in this situation. Perhaps, you can say being persistent without the correct strategy won't get you anywhere near your goals. In fact, the harder you try, the worse your situation can get.
Why is that so?
Perhaps, understanding this principle will start to shed some light in your relationship. The principle is this, "People want what they do not have." Maybe, you might have heard of his principle before.
In other words, if people cannot have something or cannot have something easily, their desire for it will be very strong. Sometimes, they will even be willing to do whatever it takes to get it even though it may not be the most rational thing to do.
Similarly, if people can easily have something, then his/her desire for it will no longer be that strong. He/she will usually start to chase after other things that they do not currently have.
Perhaps, one very common example is in the area of money. Of course, this principle doesn't only apply to the area of money. It also applies to other areas of life, including your relationship.
If you keep on trying to get in touch with your ex girlfriend, you will be perceived as someone who is needy. This indirectly means she can get you easily. Since she can get you easily, obviously, her desire t get back with you won't be very high.
It is just like trying to push yourself towards her. Imagine you are in this situation. Someone tries very hard to push something to you. Will you feel like running away? I am sure you would.
So, what you want to do instead is to appear calm and collected about the break up. Even though it may be hard for you to act way, you definitely do not want to act like you really need her. By not trying to hard, you are more likely to get your ex back.
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